Here's to Hoping
by DreamersMyth27
Summary: So this is what death feels like. Surprisingly, it's not as painful as he expected. That makes him feel a little better about his friend's deaths. Not much, but a little. Though retaining a conscious isn't really what he'd expected. Maybe pearly gates?
1. Chapter 1

**Here's another AU. I've had it for a while, but I only finally got around to editing the document. There should be a few more chapters, but I'm not sure how many. All I need to do is edit before posting, so updates shouldn't be that long, but I don't always have time, so if it seems like I've forgotten, feel free to remind me. :)**

 **Quick Notes:**

 **1\. Jack was fourteen when he died in the pond.**

 **2\. I'm using the movieverse, not the books.**

 **Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think!**

* * *

 **Smallville**

 **October 16th, ?:? EDT**

Dick knows he's going to die. He's trapped on an alien mothership with no way out and bombs set to explode at any time. They're being attacked on all side and Wally can only hold out for so long. He takes a deep calming breath, looks at Wally, who nods firmly, and ignites the explosives. He feels the flames lick at his flesh, but there's no pain, just a strange tingling sensation that he knows means he's in shock.

He wishes he would have told the truth about the weapons the aliens use. Lying to get them to help make him feel dirty, and even his skin being burned away doesn't make him feel any cleaner.

Then the heat finally starts to hit - _the pain_ \- and everything turns black.

So this is what death feels like. Surprisingly, it's not as painful as he expected. That makes him feel a little better about his friend's deaths. Not much, but a little. Though retaining a conscious isn't really what he'd expected. Maybe pearly gates?

The blackness starts to disappear. And he's aware of how _sore_ his limbs are. Which just… he shouldn't still have limbs. By all accounts, the power of the explosion he was in should has incinerated his _bones_ , never mind his arms and legs.

He groans, which is just. He still has vocal chords too. Huh. Curiouser and curiouser.

Dick opens his eyes slowly, looking through his lashes. Who knows what's going on? For all he does know, the aliens could have captured him or something, saving him from… well, death. A very painful death at that. But even if they saved him, they might just have done to experiment on him or something. No point in being too relaxed; these are the aliens that basically destroyed half of all life on the earth.

What he sees through his lashes definitely doesn't look like an alien ship. At all. Not even remotely similar. He opens his eyes all the way.

He's laying on the side of a frozen pond. There's snow covering every inch of the ground, but he's not cold, so that's strange. There are trees surrounding the frozen pond, so it's also a clearing. But the strangest thing, not the fact that he isn't cold, not the unfamiliar place, is the frost. It's _everywhere_. On the ground and the trees. It looks like someone just took a paintbrush and went at it for years to achieve the intricate details.

"Dude!" a voice exclaims.

Dick whirls around towards the noise. A boy - only a year or two older than him and not that much taller - crouching on top of a shepherd's staff that's standing straight up is looking at him curiously, head tilted. Dick can't help but wonder how the boy is doing that. It definitely goes against the laws of gravity, then again, Superman, so what does he know about gravity?

"Don't you get sick of wearing that mask all the time?"

If there's anything Dick expects out of the teen's mouth, it isn't that. Maybe a 'Who are you?', or possibly a 'What are you doing here?'. So he's caught off guard.

"What?"

"Don't you get sick of wearing that mask all the time?" the teen repeats, eyes dancing with amusement.

"Well, yeah. It's kinda important to protect my identity," Dick said quickly.

The teen shrugged and jumped off the staff, his feet hitting the ground in a deceptively light manner. He reached his hand out and the staff flew into his hand. Dick took a step back at the same time the teen took a step forward.

The teen is strange, and not just because of his amazing balance on a stick. Dick quickly categorize everything he can about the teen that stands out. White hair. Ice blue eyes. Blue hoodie covered in frost. Old and raggedy pants. No shoes. Pale skin with hints of blue, like, hypothermic-he-shouldn't-be-alive blue.

"Well, there's no point to it here," the teen says easily. "I already know who you are."

Dick feels a strange panic overcome him. How does this teen know who he is? What's Bruce going to say? There is no way this ends well for him. Then again, giant explosion, so maybe he's just dead.

Still, he'll keep the mask on for now.

"Who are you?" he asks. "And how do you know who I am?"

"I'm Jack Frost," the teen says easily, jabbing a thumb at himself. "You know, Spirit of Winter and Guardian of Fun. And you're Richard Grayson. Though you like to be called Dick."

Dick takes a step towards 'Jack Frost', still on guard. He doesn't fail to notice how Jack avoids the second question. He looks closer at the teen, then jerks back in surprise; Jack looks just like him. A year older, maybe. About an inch taller. But if Dick's coloring was the same, they could be twins.

It's not just basic looks though. Jack has the same crooked nose as Dick. He has the same mouth, always twisted in a smirk. And freckles. While Dick's are hard to find because of how tan his skin is, Jack's are easy to see, sprinkled all over his face in numerous constellations, like the stars at night.

Everything's the _same._

"What the heck is going on?" Dick breaths. He staying calm, but only just. He has Bruce to thank for that. As the man is so fond of saying: 'Stay calm, and you'll stay in control.'

"Well, to start off, you're not dead," Jack says conversationally, turning away from Dick and circling the pond, staring intently at the ice.

Dick scrambles after him. It's slightly annoying; Jack's movements are so fluid and smooth, that it puts Dick, natural acrobat he is, to shame. Something about the way Jack moves is other-worldly. And Dick knows that it wouldn't matter how much he practises he'll never move like Jack does.

"And how do you know that?" Dick asks.

Jack stops walking and turns towards him, mouth quirking in a crooked grin that looks so much like Dick's own it gives him vertigo.

"M'gann accidentally took control of a no-win simulation after Artemis died. Instead of waking up when you died, what was supposed to happen, everyone who's died is in a coma because they're convinced they're really dead," Jack says matter-of-factly. "Until she's jolted out of it, you guys are all stuck."

Dick processes that information. And okay, it makes sense. He can actually see Bruce doing that, and M'gann accidentally messing with their minds. It happened in Bialya. So yeah, that's probably what's going on. It can even explain why Jack is here. Then again…

"So why am I aware and talking to you if my mind thinks I'm dead?" Dick asks. "Shouldn't my mind think I'm dead since, you know, M'gann thinks I'm dead?"

Jack smiles sheepishly. "See, that's the thing. M'gann thinks you're dead, so you should too, but it's not that simple."

"Why isn't it that simple? Why am I here?"

"So, I'm you? It's complicated, and to be honest, I don't even know the full story." Jack runs a hand through his snow-white hair. "I guess it starts a little over thirteen years ago. See, I was helping the Guardians, and Bunny was about to die, so I kinda, sorta jumped in front of him and saved him. Turns out immortality can be ended with sharp weapons, just so you know," Jack says wryly.

Dikc opens his mouth to deny what Jack's telling him, but something stops him. He's not sure what it is. For some reason though, he can't argue with Jack. Something about what the teen says makes sense, and that scares him.

Jack continues on as if he doesn't notice Dick: "Anyway, The Man in the Moon decided that I couldn't just die, because apparently I'm important, so he took my life force and memories and put them in a baby. Then it was decided that you couldn't remember our past life until you could handle it, so fourteen, the age I was when I became Jack Frost."

"Then why am I learning about it now? And why learning not remembering?" Dick asks. He doesn't argue, because something about what Jack's telling him feels real. It makes sense, in the smallest way. Which okay, he can deal with that later.

"I think it's because your head thinks you're dead, and since I've kinda been waiting in the back of your mind to remerge with you, it sent me to merge early to save you. So yeah, sorry about what's coming when you wake up," Jack says sheepishly. "It'll suck for sure."

"So, you're saying that when I wake up I'll remember being you? And that a man in the moon created me?" Dick's sure he looks disbelieving, but really, there's only so far a gut feeling and some belief can take him.

Jack snorts. "Yeah, it sounds crazy. But just wait. Besides, once you remember, North, Tooth, Bunny, and Sandy will be so excited to see you! That's not even mentioning Jamie and Baby Tooth."

"Tooth? Like the Tooth Fairy?" Dick asks incredulously. "Stuff like that isn't real."

Jack winces good-naturedly, placing a hand over his heart. "Ouch. So does that mean you don't believe in any of them? Tooth'll be so hurt."

Dick groans in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. Belatedly, he realizes it's the same motion Jack had used just a few moments ago. Great.

"Okay, so if I used to be you - big if - then shouldn't I know something? Have some sort of residual memories? And by the way, that 'if' is basically a no. I'm pretty sure this is just my brain messing with me. Who knows how a messed up mind simulation goes?"

Jack smirks and takes a step closer to Dick, swinging an arm around his shoulders. "No, no you shouldn't. Well, I mean besides the weird things, like the scary accurate knowledge of American life in the late 1600s and early 1700s. Apparently, if you'd been born remembering _everything_ it would have been bad."

"So what you're telling me is that I'm going to wake up and remember being Jack Frost," Dick deadpans.

"Yup, pretty much," Jack agrees. "But hey, at least I'm not someone boring, like Bunny. Can you imagine?" Jack snickers. "Anywho, it's not like you'll remember being Jack Frost, we'll just stop being separated."

Dick truly and honestly isn't sure what to think. If this is all real, he really is the reincarnation of Jack Frost, does that mean that the moon or whatever just put Jack's soul into an innocent body that happened to be his? Or was he literally created, not by his parents, but the moon? Were his parents even his parents?

"You know what, you're crazy. I'm just going to wait to wake up and ignore you," Dick says firmly.

"You're going to ignore yourself? Good luck with that. I've been told I'm very persistent." Jack sits down beside Dick, setting his staff in the fluffy snow. "Listen, Dick: I know this is weird, but you need to trust me. Do you remember when you were six and started speaking Norwegian out of nowhere?"

"I picked it up," Dick insists, but in the back of his mind, even now, he wonders. The circus had certainly never visited Norway at that point. Plus, he never knew anyone who spoke the language.

"Or that time you knew all about the spring of '68?" Jack continues.

"Probably read it somewhere."

"And the times you just feel not young. Not old, but not young. That happens a lot."

"No, no it doesn't." Dick is Batman's protege for a reason. He good at lying. Great, even. Jack sees right through him.

"Whatever." Jack shrugs, stretches, and stands up, calling his staff to his hands. He turns towards the trees and starts to walk away. Before he's completely out of view he shouts: "Don't say I didn't warn you! And be ready to wake up!"

Dick shakes his head. He's not sure what to make of this weird vision, but he's sure that once he wakes up, he'll be able to put it out of his mind. So whatever.

Suddenly the world goes black and cold. He feels heavy, like he's sinking. And his lungs are wet. And then he's awake. And he remembers.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is a bit shorter than the last one, but that's kinda how this story is going to work, so. I do have a few longer ones coming up eventually, but not for a few chapters. Anywho, make sure to tell me what you think. It's a little hard to figure out how I wanna write Dick in this, so anything anyone thinks is majorly OOC, please tell me.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review on your way out!**

* * *

 **Mt. Justice**

 **October 16th, 16:21 EDT**

Dick jerks when he wakes up. Sits up and tenses before he realizes he's in the cave with the others. Who are dead. Should be dead. But everyone is moving, groaning and starting to sit up. So yeah, it seems like it really all was just a simulation.

He slumps into himself and relaxes. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees M'gann jerk up and fling herself into a startled Captain Marvel's arms. Wally looks extremely pale. Artemis is slightly confused and throwing surly glances at everyone who walks near her. Superboy looks angry. Kaldur is already standing up talking to Batman and J'onn, but the Atlantian's hands are shaking behind his back.

Dick's not sure what he feels. Angry, yeah. Scared, of course. Traumatized, duh. But he also feels sick. His head hurts. It's pounding, and Dick knows from plenty of experience that if he doesn't get something for it, it'll turn into a migraine. Which, yeah. That sucks. Oh, and it's just now hitting him he led his friends to their deaths. And real or fake, that just makes him feel sicker.

He's on his feet and running towards his room in the cave before he even realizes it or anyone can stop him. He's lucky, he supposes; everyone else is too wrapped up in their own issues to care about or notice him leaving. It definitely makes it much easier to keep people away while he sits in the dark against the wall, trying to calm his breathing.

Once he's sure no one is coming after him, he leans his head against his knees. He led his friends to their deaths, and he didn't care. He's a hero, and that means he's supposed to be one for everyone, even other heroes. He can't just say: ' _They signed up for it, so if it saves the world, let's kill them.'_

What's hardest for him though is that Bruce would have done the same thing he did. He would have led the Justice League to their deaths if it saved the world. And Bruce wouldn't have a problem justifying it.

He doesn't want to be like Batman, be Batman, anymore. He doesn't want to give his life to the mission. He doesn't want to lose his friends. He wants to guard them.

Then the memories assault him.

* * *

It's cold, _so cold_ , and he can't breath. He can't breath or swim and he's running out of air and _someone help him_! Then everything just stops. The cold. The burning pain in his lungs. But it's still dark. And he can't remember anything.

He's pulled out of the water by a moonbeam, and he lands on the frozen pond lightly. The hole he comes out of freezes over. He watches it in wonder, before looking up at the moon. The Man in the Moon tells him his name is Jack Frost.

After that, his life is a blur of snow and fun. Laughter and sadness. No one can see him though, and that hurts, but he makes it work. And he can _fly_. That makes not being seen almost worth it.

Sometime's Jack does wonder where he came from. If the Man in the Moon created him or he already existed.

Years and years pass, and he is eventually seen, but it's by others like him. And to be honest, most of them don't like him. Which hurts. The first people to see him in years hate him. And it breaks him, just a little.

Sure, there are a few other things that might contribute to their dislike of him. The blizzard of '68 is just one example. But no matter how much he apologizes or says it was an accident, none of them believe him.

Then the Guardians decide they need his help to save the world from Pitch Black, and he wants to say no _so_ badly. He wants them to be hurt the same way he was. To be ignored and not seen. But he can't subject them to it. He hates not being believed, and no matter how mad he is at them for ignoring him, they don't deserve that.

So he joins them, but somehow everything seems to be messed up, and of course, it's all his fault. And the thing is, for once it's the truth. So when he tries to fix everything, he falls right into Pitch's trap. But he gets his memories back. And he knows who he is.

He's a Guardian.

There's only one light left. One person who still believes. And he knows who it is. A little boy named Jamie. A little boy he's especially fond of.

He arrives just as Jamie's about to stop believing, and with a little bit of frost, Jamie believes again. And not just in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa. Jamie believes in _him_.

Then they stop Pitch Black.

After that, it's a blur of happiness and being believed in and visiting Jamie. He's never been this happy before. Then one day the Guardians need to save the world again. He meets them in the middle of the South Pole. No one is sure what the threat is yet, but this is where the Man in the Moon sent them, so there must be something. And there is.

Jack barely has time to shove Bunny out of the way before he feels something sharp hit his chest. From there, everything blurs in and out. He remembers being under the full moon and hearing Tooth begging for something. He can still almost feel North's big hand squeezing his shoulder and whispering that it's going to be alright.

A moonbeam hits him and he goes up into the air. Higher and higher until he's just gone.

* * *

Dick opens his eyes wide. What was that? Was it… was it real? Normally he would dismiss it as a hallucination from stress or something, but it fits with what happened during the simulation after he died. And this scares him.

He knows his own mind. He knows how to tell the difference between real and fake. And what just happened, what he remembers, it feels real. But it can't be, because that would mean that he's a reincarnated spirit. That would mean he's not who he thinks he is. And that would mean that the Man in the Moon basically put Jack Frost's memories into an innocent child.

It can't be that simple though. And this is just hard because Dick doesn't feel like himself anymore. He already knows that. He feels more like Jack Frost than Dick Grayson. More like Jackson Overland than Dick Grayson, even.

This just can't, he refuses to believe it's real. He knows reincarnation is real. He knows all sorts of magic is real. But he refuses to even think for a moment that what's happening to him is real. It's just from the simulation. It has to be.

(Even so, he can feel the changes already, like parts of his personality have been rewritten. Small things. Like wearing shoes. That's something he likes. Having bare feet is something he can't stand unless he's at the beach or swimming, but right now his sneakers just feel uncomfortable and he wants them _off_.)

There's a lingering feeling of cold in his chest though. The type of cold humans aren't supposed to have. Like an ice block is just sitting there. It should be painful, but it feels nice. Warm, in some convoluted way.

There is something very wrong with him, and he doesn't know if any of it's real or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**So this chapter is really short and I promise I was planning have more today, but I am now sick with strep throat, so that plan went out the window. I figure a short chapter to build up stuff is better than nothing. Anywho, don't be surprised if I disappear for a while. I love this story and it's actually finished, some stuff just needs revising before I have everything done, but looking at a screen is giving me a killer headache.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think!**

* * *

 **Mt. Justice**

 **October 16th, 17: 48 EDT**

Bruce comes to get him. Which surprises Dick. He'd been sure no one noticed him leave the main room, all wrapped up in their own grief, or in Bruce's case, trying to figure out exactly what happened. Anyway, Bruce comes to get him and bring him home.

He's not really sure whether he should say anything about the memories or keep quiet. If he says something, there's a chance Bruce will help him figure out what's going on, but there's also a high chance Bruce will be all weird and paranoid about it. Dick's not sure if he can deal with that.

So he makes a decision. Real or not real, whatever's going on with him, he'll keep it secret from Bruce, just for now. He'll make sure Bruce doesn't suspect anything is wrong.

He follows the man out of his room, face impassive. The moment the zeta-beam lights up and they appear back in the Batcave, he takes off running for his room. He doesn't want to face Bruce. Batman, he can deal with, but Bruce, he can't deal with Bruce right now, even with his decision.

He runs past Alfred on his way to his room and doesn't even stop to say hello. He knows he'll get in trouble for running in the house and being rude later, but for now, he wants to be alone. Needs to be alone. Needs to get a handle on everything running through his head.

Once he's in his room with the door firmly locked, he opens the laptop on his desk up and searches Burgess. There isn't much there. It's a small town, nothing special. A few stories about blackouts from thirteen years ago, stories about what he knows weren't really blackouts, at least according to his… to his memories as Jack Frost.

Something else catches his eye. It's nothing big, just a note about this small pond that was named after a kid who drowned there.

The pond is called Overland Pond.

He closes his eyes and turns away from the laptop.

All the training from Batman has helped him in many ways, and he can tell it's helping him here. He feels the changes in himself. He can see the difference in worldview from yesterday to now. He can sense his already altered personality. He can understand things he didn't before.

For some reason, he wants to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Sandman. Logic tells him they're not real, but his heart tells him they are. He listens to his heart, only a little bit, but enough to know he believes in them.

It scares him because he shouldn't think they're real, but he can't stop himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Another Chapter! It is a bit on the short side, but there are more coming soon. I totally edited nearly the whole story last night while I was feeling slightly better, so pretty much everything is written and done with, and I'll post a chapter every day or every other day.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think! :)**

* * *

 **Mt. Justice**

 **October 23rd, 17:21 EDT**

When he's called into the makeshift therapy room Black Canary is using, he's… apprehensive. Dick's sure that Bruce has told her how strange he's been acting at home. He knows she'll ask him about what's going on, what in the simulation caused him to act like this. But he doesn't want to give anything away. He doesn't want her to think he's crazy, because he is. There is simply no other explanation for it, no matter how much that conclusion churns his stomach.

"Robin, sit down, please," she says gently from her own chair.

He flinches at the name. It's his name, the one his mom gave him, but lately, it just hasn't _fit_ him. Not in any weird way, just… he doesn't believe what he remembered is true, but if it is, that means a life was stolen from his parents. It means he's not their son, just some freak who was put in their son's body.

Black Canary notices his flinch and gives him a hard stare. Dick takes a seat.

"Now, Robin, Batman tells me you haven't been yourself."

She stops there, hands clasped together and leaning towards him from her chair. He knows this trick. She's waiting to see if he says anything or if he'll need more prompting. And since it's not a question, he can take it anywhere. But he knows as soon as he starts talking, everything will come out and she'll tell Bruce.

The silence lasts a surprising amount of time. He looks at his own clasped hands the whole time. He won't talk. He can't talk. After nearly ten minutes Black Canary sighs.

"Dick-"

"Names," he says immediately, then curses himself instantly. He talked.

"Robin," she tries again gently. "Nothing that happened in the simulation is your fault."

"It is," he says through gritted teeth, fists clenching and becoming ice cold. The temperature seems to drop. "I let them die, Dinah. I _knew_ the ship wasn't using zeta-beams, and I told them it was. I led them to their deaths!" he screams, jumping to his feet. "I'm their _friend_! And the thing is," he says, softly again. "I don't want to become Batman anymore. That… that _thing_ that lets him give everything for the mission, that's not me."

He knows, he really does know, that before all this weird stuff with the fake memories had happened, he still would have been traumatized from this, but not to this extent. Sacrificing them, it reminds him too much of Pitch Black, so willing to do anything to achieve his goals.

The thing is, this sudden personality shift has messed with him more than he wants to admit.

"I just… I hate Bruce right now," he says, voice cracking from the sheer emotion. "I hate that I wanted to be him and I hate that he would do the same thing I did without a second thought. I hate that I did it too."

His quiet rage and vehemence seem to shock Black Canary. It surprises himself. He falls back to his seat heavily, frozen.

"I'm so tired, Dinah. I'm so, _so_ tired. And these, these… something happened after I died in the simulation," he explains.

"What happened to you?" she asks.

Suddenly, Dick realizes how close he is to spilling everything, and the strange thing? He's not so upset about that. He needs to tell someone with more than the emotional range of a teaspoon.

"You can't tell Bruce," he orders breathlessly. "Promise me."

"Doctor/Patient confidentiality, Dick. No one will know unless you want them to," she promises firmly.

What's so strange about that? He believes her. No matter how much his training is yelling at him that he can't trust anyone, he _trusts_ her. It's a shocking revelation.

He closes his eyes and pulls the sunglasses off his face. They feel heavy today. And right now he doesn't want to hide. And he's smart enough to admit he needs help with the memories, because no matter how fake (He tells himself this over and over. Perhaps he'll eventually believe it?) the memories are, they're there.

"I… I remembered something after I died. Well, I remembered after I woke up, but I met someone after I died." He pauses a moment, gauging Black Canary's response. So far just mild curiosity. "I met someone who claimed they were me, and that I was their reincarnation after they died. Then after I woke up I remembered this whole other life, and I feel like a different person. There's this whole other set of memories in my head and a whole other personality. I just… it has to be fake. Reincarnation isn't real, right?"

He looks at Black Canary with hopeful eyes.

"And if I am a reincarnated person, that means that my parents may have just had someone else soul or whatever put into their kid! How is that fair? That would mean they're not even my parents! And I think I'm going crazy! This has to be fake."

"Dick, I don't know what to tell you. I could lie and say it'll be okay, but that's the thing, it may not," Black Canary says honestly. "I can tell you reincarnation does exist, take it from someone who's met some people who've been reincarnated. And while I wish I could tell you that you're going crazy, a traumatic event can make you remember a previous life." She hesitates, bites her lip. "If you wanted to, you could find out. Zatara can tell if people have been reincarnated."

Dick nods his head and slips his glasses back on, feeling drained. So, he may not be crazy. But that means, it means that everything Jack told him is true. Santa, the Easter Bunny, all of that. And worst of all, his fear that he's not really his parent's child.

Still, he's thankful for what she's told him, even if it's not what he wanted to hear.

"Thanks, Dinah."


	5. Chapter 5

**Another uber short one. Fear not, folks, the really long one is next. We're starting to reach home stretch, so enjoy! Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think!**

* * *

 **Mt. Justice**

 **October 23rd, 22:17 EDT**

Dick stays late at the mountain. He just, he wants to know what's going on with him _now_. And if that means waiting until ten at night to have Zatara come, then so be it. Dinah calls him to the therapy office, as he's calling it, just a few moments after he hears Zatara announced on the zeta-beams.

"Robin," she says. "Zatara is here."

Even still, he doesn't want Bruce to have any inkling about what's going on. He makes a mental note to edit security footage and erase Zatara's visit from the zeta-beam logs. And swear Zatara to secrecy.

He hops to his feet lightly and follows her. Both Conner and M'gann are outside on the beach, so there's no chance of them finding out what's going on, because superhearing proof rooms or not, he's going to be careful. Plus, he'd rather Conner and M'gann have a romantic moment outside, not inside where he might see it and throw up from the sugary sweetness.

Zatara waits for them in the middle of the room. Black Canary shuts the door softly and stands by it, waiting for Dick to initiate, which he will have to. Zatara has no idea what he's here for, as per Dick's request to ask for the man's help on his own.

Dick takes a deep, calming breath. "I, after the simulation I remembered a different life and I need to know if it's real or not."

Zatara blinks, once, then twice and scowls, turning towards Black Canary. "You didn't call me right after the simulation?"

Black Canary twitches. " _I_ didn't find out until today and _you're_ looking at a child raised by Batman."

"Nevertheless, when someone remembers a past life, it is almost always traumatizing. You should have told someone right away," Zatara says sternly, waving a finger in Dick's face.

Dick nods solemnly.

Zatara sighs. "You wish to know if it's real or not, so I will perform a simple spell to discern the truth. This should also tell us whether any of the memories are tampered with because of the simulation."

"Do it," Dick says firmly.

Zatara looks him over once curiously and raises an eyebrow. Still, the magician raises his hand and chants: "Sevil suoiverp S'nibor fo em llet."

A bright flash of magic and Dick finds himself laying on the ground, feeling dizzy.

"Are you alright, Robin?" Black Canary asks.

Dick gives a feeble thumbs-up and props himself into a sitting position with one elbow, using his other hand to rub his forehead.

"Zatara?" Black Canary asks sharply. "What did you learn?"

Zatara shakes his head once. "Your suspicions were correct. Dinah. Reincarnation. None of the memories were affected by the simulation either."

So that means… it means Dick is Jack Frost and his parents aren't his parents.

"Wait, Zatara!" he shouts before the man can leave the room. "My parents, this means they're not mine, doesn't it?"

Zatara gives him a sad smile. "Reincarnation, my boy, is a tricky process. Think of it this way; your mother would never have had a child were you not reincarnated. It's just the way souls work."

And that doesn't really answer anything much, but it makes Dick feel a little better. Just a little.


	6. Chapter 6

**Largish chapter. I'm proud of this one. Make sure to tell me what you think!**

* * *

 **Burgess**

 **October 24th, 16:38 EDT**

His memories are real, he knows that much. And Zatara basically confirmed, albeit unintentionally, that Jack Frost, Santa, and all those others are real. He really used to be Jack Frost, and it that isn't enough to give him an identity crisis, he's not sure what is.

It isn't a hard decision for Dick to look for more answers. It's actually quite easy. Almost scarily easy. He's been raised by Batman for the last four years of his life. He thrives on knowledge. Knowing everything is the first step in being _okay_. With… everything.

Burgess is the town he lives in his other life, the beginning, before Jack Frost, when he's just Jackson Overland. After his first death, after becoming Jack Frost he spends a lot of time in the town. There's always been a connection between it and its people. After Jamie sees him, it's all the more reason to hang around more often.

So Dick uses this, the memories of Jamie, someone who knew him and will be significantly easier to find then the _Easter Bunny_. Jamie still lives in Burgess. He's a children's book illustrator and he's twenty-three. Dick's happy for him and just hopes beyond hope that Jamie still believes and doesn't just think Jack Frost is just an illusion of his childhood.

The house is small, one floor, with a beat-up car sitting in the driveway. The path to the front door is cracked with weeds growing in the yard. Yet with the slightly dilapidated look of the yard and house, it gave off an air of comfort.

Dick gathers his courage and walks up to the door.

From somewhere in the house he can hear shuffling and footsteps getting closer. The door flies open, revealing a young man with shaggy brown hair and a pencil stuck behind his ear. The same smile Dick remembers when Jamie was a child is still there, just without the missing tooth.

The man's eyes widen at the sight of Dick. His jaw drops. Then he gives a sudden cry of joy and envelops him in a massive hug.

Dick stiffens. This is, he doesn't _really_ know Jamie, no matter what he remembers, because even if he's Jack Frost's reincarnation, he's not Jack Frost. He's Dick Grayson. And Dick Grayson doesn't exactly love it when strangers hug him.

Jamie lets him go and places a hand on Dick's shoulder.

"Jack," he breathes. "You're back."

Dick shifts. "Um, yeah. I guess."

"Come in, please. Do you… do you remember? I asked if you would, and they weren't sure." Jamie laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair.

Dick follows Jamie into a humble living room and sits down awkwardly on the flowery couch. Jamie sits down, equally awkwardly, on a brown chair across from the couch.

Dick looks at his hands. "Yeah. I remember. I… I just, I don't know if… what it all means. What am I supposed to do now?"

Jamie sighs deeply. "I'm not sure, Jack. I'm sorry."

"Dick," he says.

Jamie looks shocked. "Excuse me?"

Dick blushes. "Sorry. That's my name. It's short for Richard."

"Oh." Jamie laughs. "Sorry. I was just surprised. It's nice to meet you, Dick. Though I'll have to ask you to forgive me if I call you Jack accidentally a few times. You look just like him."

"Do I really look like him," Dick asks. The question is loaded with so many meaning, even he's not sure of all of them

"Yeah, almost exactly," Jamie says with a merry laugh. "I mean, you don't look like you're suffering from hypothermia and your hair isn't white, but other than that, you look the same. Maybe a bit younger."

He sighs. "I was afraid of that."

"You're scared, aren't you? You know, just because you used to be him doesn't mean you have to be him. It doesn't mean whatever your life is now was a lie," Jamie says. And wow, he's pretty smart for only being in his early twenties. Dick's surprised. "You may have been Jack Frost, but you're Dick now. And it's okay if that's who you want to stay."

Dick laughs. "You give pretty good advice."

"Well, I learned from the best," Jamie tells him wryly. "Jack always had great advice. Plus I know Santa, so…"

"Do they know where I am? Who I am?" he asks seriously.

Jame looks thoughtful. "No, I don't think they do. I think the Man in the Moon kept it secret from them because he didn't want them to try and mess with you. Try to make you remember earlier that you were ready."

"I think that ship sailed."

"I thought you looked a little young." Suddenly Jamie goes a completely different direction with the conversation. "Do you want me to call them? The Guardians?"

He wants to say yes so badly. He wants to see if they're really like he remembers. But he's not ready. He needs to find out more and tell Bruce before meeting anyone else. He owes Bruce an explanation.

"Not today," he decides.

"Okay."

Jamie doesn't push and seems to understand where he's coming from. They sit in silence for a while, but not a bad one. It's comfortable. Companionable. Eventually, he stands up.

"I need to go," he says.

"Then I guess I'll see you sometime soon, Jack," Jamie says.

He smiles a crooked smile. The name doesn't sound so wrong coming from Jamie. "Yeah, sometime soon."


	7. Chapter 7

**Super duper short chapter, but it's mostly just there to build stuff up. A longer chapter is coming up either tomorrow or the day after.**

* * *

 **Wayne Manor**

 **October 24th, 21:38 EDT**

When he gets back to the Manor, he avoids Bruce and pretends to be sleeping as the man comes to check on him that night. After he's sure Bruce isn't going to come check on him, he crawls out his window and onto the roof. It should be cold, but he's completely comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt with no shoes.

The moon is out tonight. It's strangely bright, and now that he remembers his… other life, he can't help but wonder if maybe there's a reason. Maybe the Man in the Moon wants him to talk, ask questions. So, feeling foolish, he opens his mouth and asks softly: "What am I supposed to do?"

The moon doesn't answer, and for some reason, that just makes everything worse. Dick crawls back into his room and lays under the covers, but eventually, he just settles on top of them. Being under is too hot. To stifling.


	8. Chapter 8

**I have big plans for the next chapter! It's gonna be longer than this. Almost as big as the first chapter. Don't forget to leave a review!**

* * *

 **Mt. Justice**

 **October 25th, 13:14 EDT**

Bruce notices his behavior, and in true Bruce fashion confronts him over it in the Batcave. The thing is, as he stares up at Bruce unmovable figure, he can't just come out and say: 'Hey, by the way, it turns out that I had a past life, died and turned into Jack Frost, then died again and turned into me. Isn't that cool!' Well, he can, but only if he wants to be locked in a mental ward. Not literally, but it would definitely take more explaining than that.

So he looks from Bruce to Alfred, who's standing a few feet away pretending to dust the Batcomputer. Dick can tell he's pretending based on the way his ear is turned towards the conversation. That and it's Alfred; he makes it his business to know everything that goes on, both in the cave and out.

"Dick," Bruce repeats, and Dick realizes it's probably been a very long silence. Normally he's better at paying attention, even when he's worried and stressed. "What happened? Alfred and I are worried."

And he played the 'worried' card. Great. Dick can't just avoid it now. Well, he's been planning on telling them anyway. It looks like he'll just move up the plan on _when_ to tell them. Dick takes a deep, calming breath and turns away from them.

"It started after I died in the simulation," he whispers, voice cracking. "I didn't think it was real, at first. I was just sorta confused, 'cause I thought dying would leave me dead. I woke up after I died, and there was a kid who looked like me but didn't too. He told me it was all a simulation. And then the kid said he was me."

Dick pauses. The whole cave is silent in a way that means Bruce and Alfred are hanging onto his every word. But he needs a break. Just a moment.

"After the simulation ended, you know how I ran to my room?" Dick doesn't wait for an answer. "Something happened. I remembered a whole different life than this one. And it's so horrible because I think that life was better, Bruce. I thought I was going crazy, and then I told Dinah about it and she called Zatara. He confirmed it. Have you ever heard of reincarnation?"

Dick turns to Bruce with wide, tear-filled eyes. The man is frozen, face completely blank, and not even Dick, who's lived with him for almost five years, can read him. Alfred is carefully hunched over the Batcomputer, but he's not dusting anymore. It's so quiet that he would hear a penny drop.

"I have," Bruce finally answers, voice as empty of emotion as his face is blank.

"That's what's going on with me," Dick says miserably, head hanging. "And it sucks, Bruce. I just wish it was gone. It's hard to remember it all. This whole other life is in my head and it's not _mine_. All these people I used to know and they should be there but they're not and there's just this… void."

"A reincarnation? So you're…"

"Yeah. I… I died. That's how it starts. You die." Dick laughs bitterly. "You know, I died saving someone's life. One of my friends. I was only fourteen." Well, being immortal kinda kept him stuck at that age biologically and chronologically, nevermind being around three-hundred years. "All my friends are still alive, and it's so weird because I feel like I should know them but I don't. Bruce, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

Dick is shaking now, and tears are rolling down his face. Dimly he feels Bruce grab his shoulders and pull him into a tight hug.


	9. Chapter 9

**Just so you know in advance, I'm so, so sorry. Please don't hate me. I promise that the next chapter is a little less... sad. Promise!**

 **Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think.**

* * *

 **Wayne Manor**

 **October 25th, 23:46 EDT**

That night, Dick kicks the blankets and sheets off of himself again. They're making him too hot. He's sweating, and he _knows_ the room isn't warm enough to make him this uncomfortable. It's October in Gotham. He should be freezing, not hot. Alfred's always been really strict about the rooms not being any warmer than 65 degrees too.

Something's wrong with him.

He stands up and shrugs off the sweaty sheets. He's pretty sure Alfred and Bruce won't be coming to check on him anymore; it's pretty late now. He crawls out the window and onto the roof. Since his memories have come back, he's been finding himself doing that more often than not.

It's cold outside, or it should be. He knows this. But it's not cold. He's not cold. He still feels a little warm, but he's more comfortable now than he was inside. He's wearing a t-shirt and shorts. No shoes.

He knows what's happening. He's been trying to pretend he doesn't. But he does. He remembers now. And because he remembers, he's should be ready. He's not, but that's not stopping the Man in the Moon, otherwise, he wouldn't be sitting on the roof in pajamas still sweating. He might be freaking out a lot more, trying to find a way to stop it, if he didn't know that there's no way to stop a transformation.

He doesn't know what's going to happen to all of them now. His friends. His family. None of them exactly believe in Jack Frost. And he'll never be able to convince them to. Not a single member of the Justice League will be able to see him. To tell Bruce what's happened to him when it does.

It hurts, keeping this a secret. But telling Bruce won't do anything except make him spend what little time Dick has left trying to find a cure. But there's no cure for magic.

He doesn't want to leave. He really, really doesn't. But he can't stop this either, and it'll be nice to see the others. To go back to spreading winter and fun. He'll be different for sure. After living as Dick Grayson, how could he not be? But… he does miss it now that he knows it's real.

The only real worry he has is Wally, Barbara, Alfred, Bruce. What will they do without him? What's his pseudo father going to do without him? He'll retreat into himself again, probably. Dick can't let that happen. And this is where an idea comes to him.

Dick slips back into his room, leaving the window wide open to keep temperatures down. He snags a notebook and begins scribbling furiously on it. As soon as he's satisfied with it, he sets the pen down and sits on his bed. He's too wired to sleep now. Not with his inevitable disappearance hanging over his head.

The sun rises faster than he expects it to. It's a school day today. He's sure he could get Bruce to let him opt out, but he wants to see Baraba. If the white starting to creep into his hair and the slowed heartbeat is any indication, he only has a day or less left. He needs to see Barbara before anything happens.

Luckily, he has black hair dye ready for an occasion… not like this one, but others. It's temporary. It'll wash away in the shower easily.

At school, Barbara greets him cheerily, and when he asks about the bruise on her knuckle, she lies easily and tells him it's from running into a door. He's not an idiot, though. He knows it's from her night out as Batgirl. It's good she's Batgirl. She can help Bruce once he's gone.

While talking, he manages to slip a few pieces of paper into her locker. She won't see them until tomorrow.

After school is over, he zetas to the mountain. Wally is already there, tackling some chemistry homework. Dick smiles and greets him warmly. He hopes Wally's not suspicious about how cheerful he's acting.

After a few hours of messing around, Wally comments that he looks pale. Dick looks at his hand and is shocked to see how much he's already changed. He makes up a quick lie about needing to have dinner with Bruce and Alfred, but before leaving, he slips a sheaf of papers into Wally's English homework. His friend won't try _that_ until at least tomorrow.

At the Manor, dinner is almost normal, due in part to both his and Bruce's suburb acting skills. He thinks it's just that neither of them wants to breach the subject. And it's also that he wants one more night of normalcy with Bruce and Alfred.

After dinner, he sneaks into the kitchen and leaves a piece of paper underneath the pans. Alfred won't see it until tomorrow.

Once that's done, he heads down to the cave and patrol starts. It's a slow, normal patrol. And it's really, really great. It's perfect. Once they arrive back at the Batcave, Dick puts his uniform away, and with it one last piece of paper.

He takes a shower in his bathroom. The water comes away dark. As soon as he steps out of the shower, he looks in the mirror at himself. His skin looks almost the same as he remembers from when he was Jack Frost. His hair only has a few bits of black left.

The real kicker, though, is that his heartbeat is almost gone. It feels kind of like a block of ice is replacing his heart. He only has a few minutes left. Dick gets dressed and waits on the roof for his heart to slow to a complete stop.

It doesn't take long. And it's not just his heart stopping that he feels. It's magic coursing through his veins in a mad rush. Then it stops. And he's a spirit again.

Dick calls the wind, looking once more at the house before disappearing.


	10. Chapter 10

**The final chapter! It's now complete! Thanks for all the support with this story! Don't forget to tell me what you think of the finale!**

* * *

 _Bruce,_

 _Don't be upset I'm gone or anything. You've got to promise me not to be. I didn't choose to leave, but it was going to happen no matter what either of us did. You know magic, it's impossible to make sense of. I'm not dead, not really. You just can't see me. It's a long story._

 _Life has to go on for you, Bruce. I don't want you to mourn me or anything. If you do, I'll be back to fill the Batcave with snow or something. And the cameras wouldn't catch me. Just, if you really need me, I'll be there. I promise. But I've got other stuff to do, so please don't have an emotional crisis when I'm busy!_

 _By the way, Barbara knows who we are. Don't be too tough on her, I told her. I know you don't approve of her night job, but seriously, just let her do it. She deserves to protect the city just as much as we do. As we did. Let her help. Give her access to the Batcave. Invite her over for dinner a few times a month._

 _By the way, if you ever get another kid, they're welcome to my name; I'm certainly not using it anymore._

 _You were like a father to me, Bruce. I'm so thankful for that. Really, I am. Trust that this is all working out. And if you really want to know what happened to me, ask Captain Marvel about MiM. He'll know who that is. That'll give you enough clues to figure out what happened to me._

 _With love,_

 _Dick Grayson_

 _P.S. Seriously, Bruce. If you brood in the cave for a week after reading this, I'll make you regret it. If you do decide to find out what happened to me, make sure to share with Wally, Barbara, and Alfred! Also, find a good cover story for me. Maybe tell people I decided to visit some family in France for a year or something._

Bruce did take it hard, and Dick kept an extra close eye on him for a while. Still, the man did listen to the letter's advice, even if dinner's with Barbara were pretty silent. Sandy usually was with him when he followed Bruce as Batman.

Then he saw something perfect. Something that would hopefully lift Bruce's spirit. Dick grinned and gathered a snowball in his palm, much to Sandy's amusement. Then he took careful aim and hit a kid right in the center of the back

The kid spun around so quickly it was comical. Then the kid caught sight of the Batmobile and pulled out a tire iron.

* * *

 _Alfie,_

 _Thanks for keeping Bruce and me alive. I don't think we could do any of it without you. I guess I just wanted to let you know I didn't run away or anything. It was magic. Nothing anyone did.. Just my destiny. Keep that word quiet around B though. I know he doesn't believe in it._

 _You need to make sure Bruce doesn't self-destruct. And take a few vacation days. Like seriously. You need those. You deserve a year-long vacation, I swear._

 _This may seem a bit short, but I know you get the picture. And if you ever want to know what happened to me, ask Bruce about MiM. He's probably going to ask Captain Marvel about it sometime._

 _Love,_

 _Dick Grayson_

Alfred is surprisingly okay. And sometimes Dick swears the man sees him when he checks up on him. But the moment he looks again, Alfred's eyes are always pointed away. But there's always a small smile on his face, as Tooth points out one evening.

* * *

 _Barbara,_

 _You're probably really confused right now. I'm not in school today, by the way. I probably won't be ever again. Don't worry, I'm not dead or anything. Just… it's a long story. First thing I need to tell you is that I'm Robin. Bruce is Batman. And we both know you're Batgirl._

 _I'm gone now. You know magic, well that was kinda involved. It's not like I was turned invisible or anything. It was just something a long time coming, no matter if I was Robin or not. It was a birthright, you could say. If you really want to know, ask Bruce about MiM. No, it's not a joke._

 _By the way, I'll need you to put up with Bruce. He's probably going to start mentoring you soon, and he can be a little harsh. It's not so bad though. Let me rephrase that; it's not always that bad. :)_

 _By the way, you could live with a little more belief. Don't try to grow up so fast, Gotham or not. And if you ever feel like talking to me, I'm always there. I promise. I'll hear you._

 _With love and hugs,_

 _Dick_

Barbara is almost as bad as Bruce. He's honestly impressed. But she gets better, softer after Jason starts asking about him. Barbara shares all sorts of stories, some he would really rather stay quiet, but she can't exactly see him, so.

No one has asked Bruce about MiM yet, and Bruce hasn't asked Captain Marvel. Speaking of Captain Marvel, apparently, he's a ten-year-old kid. And believes. So yeah. He kinda caught Dick spying and recognized him, which took a while to explain. But he agreed to keep quiet unless asked about MiM and Dick.

Back to the main point; it's nice seeing Barbara move on.

* * *

 _Walls,_

 _Not dead. I promise. It's a really, really long story. If you want to know what happened to me, ask Bruce about MiM. Also, I can tell you it involves magic, so there's that. Don't just decide not to believe because of that._

 _You really need to just kiss Artemis by the way. The tension between you two is unbearable. It's getting to a ridiculous point. You like her. She likes you. You both deny it. Kiss and get together. Happily ever after._

 _I want you to do one thing for me; believe. You never really have, but there must have been a time when you were a kid that you believed in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Sandman, and Jack Frost. Maybe believe in them a little longer. You're only a kid for so long, you know. Take this from me._

 _Your friend,_

 _Dick Grayson_

Wally is perhaps the hardest to watch. His friend doesn't know what happened to him, and it just hurts. No one on the Team does. But he can live with it. Besides, when Jason joins, he makes it a point to become friends with Wally. And Wally kisses Artemis on New Year's. So Dick likes to think he's won.

Wally ends up being the first one to ask Bruce about MiM, who then asks Captain Marvel. Seeing Bruce's face when Captain Marvel says: "The Man in the Moon. He's in charge of creating spirits," is the best thing Dick's seen in a long time.

Plus then he hits Bruce with a snowball and Bruce sees him. So best time in a while.


End file.
